THIS GENIUS OF A THING (2)

                      

If you didn’t read the first part of this piece you can check the previous post. If you read it already then welcome to the beautiful entrance to heaven.

            

At the entrance to heaven, Fagunwa is stopped by Onibode for questioning.

ONIBODE: Femi ooooo, Femi ooooooooo, Femi ooooooooooooooooooo

FAGUNWA: Yes Onibode?

ONIBODE: How many times did I call you?

FAGUNWA: Am not sure if it’s the demons in Igbo Irunmole playing tricks with my hearing but I think it was thrice. Why won’t you allow me enter heaven? After all, I so beautifully described the place to Adiitu Olodumare when he was visiting his parents, Iponjudiran and Obiri-aiye.

ONIBODE: Your time is not up yet. Why did you come early? The heavens still have powerful mysteries and fantasies for your world.

FAGUNWA: Haba, Onibode. Do you think I wanted to die? Even Akara-Ogun had to assemble a team of special beings before embarking on that later journey to Igbo Irunmole despite his powers. Blame Ogun who used his own child as sacrifice so close to the new year.

ONIBODE: It’s okay then but another person has to go into the world soon. I think I will send Joanne in about two years.

FAGUNWA: Who is Joanne (pronounced Jo anu)?

ONIBODE: She is female and will be born in a distant land but your people will hear of her and she will be great. You can enter now Femi.

                                                TODAY

FAGUNWA: Onibode I salute o.

ONIBODE: How are you and what brings you to the entrance?

FAGUNWA: I have come to discuss something very important with the other Onibode

ONIBODE: He is off-duty today and the Onibode on night duty will soon be around. You may speak to me though. I hear for us all

FAGUNWA: Ok. It is about Joanne (pronounced Jo anu). She has sold over 400million copies, her book adjudged the best-selling book series in history, won multiple awards. I feel cheated on behalf of my people.

ONIBODE: What do you want us to do about it?

FAGUNWA: My people need another Fagunwa that will spin tales only the soulmate of Irunmoles can conceive. My people need to revisit the tale of Kako onikumo-ekun and listen to Mogaji Enudunjuyo weave tales that are birthed from the innate evil that men perpetuate against each other.

ONIBODE: But Joanne is portraying the universal conflict between good and bad already. Besides do you want us to send another person to your people to be sent back before their time?

FAGUNWA: Onibode! That was in 1963! Am sure my people have tarred roads everywhere now. Accidents will be very minimal. See, that is someone draped in green, white, green approaching. Let’s ask her

ONIBUDO: (Addresses newcomer). Hello young lady? How is the place you are coming from?

LADY: It is daily strife o. (Sighs deeply). I only pray God helps those I left there. The country is a catastrophe waiting to happen. Currently, a lawmaker and a business mogul are in the center of a corruption web that if probed properly will spin many people in. Our currency has lost value, education sector is in shambles, infrastructure is poor, did I remember to tell you that we are afraid of plane crashes too this days? In fact Onibode, I would have called to let you hear from someone there but am sure my MTN sim cannot have coverage here. There was even no coverage inside the hospital before I left. Many things to talk about Onibode. We now have people who blow up fellow humans and churches, slaughtering beings like…ha…ha…ha…ha (she starts crying). Have just remembered another thing o! If you see…

FAGUNWA: (Cuts in). It is enough lady! You have said enough. You can enter now (shoos her away and faces Onibode). Too many bad things are happening to my people. They need good things. Please send someone to them.

ONIBODE: I agree with you Femi. I will send someone who already understands your people. I can’t risk another premature return. I will send Omotola very soon.

FAGUNWA: So that means her fame will rise far and wide? Please don’t forget money. In short, bless her with all the good things life has to offer

ONIBODE: Of course. Goodbye Femi. I see the Onibode on night shift approaching.

FAGUNWA: Goodbye Onibode. Thank you very much

And that’s the story of how the heavens predicted my success. Let the famzing begin!

PS: Onibode forgot my surname!